It’s getting cold and snowy as the holidays approach, so Netflix is likely coming a big part of your night routine, and your girlfriend is trying to con you into watching corny nostalgic Christmas shows and movies. Nothing more annoying than scrolling through different shit as your girlfriend won’t decide on what to watch which sparked me with an idea.
Why doesn’t Netflix have playlists? Yea yea they have watchlists but you can’t select individual episodes of shows. Pure insanity no one has implemented this in their streaming service. Hit the wife with a thanksgiving or Xmas playlist wait till she falls asleep an hour in then switch to some meaningless regular season college basketball. Your welcome Netflix.
Sick of dressing in rare Japanese garments and not being able to match with your dog while doing so? Fam don’t even sweat it, legendary streetwear behemoth A Bathing Ape (Bape for short) has got your covered these days.
Look at how happy this good boi is now that he is DRIPPIN
Baby Milo Towels for dog? They got em. Bape camo doggie vests with a plush baby Milo on top (pictured above)? Fucking copped. A $500 Bape camo doggie bed for your mouth breathing pug to throw up on after he gets into your holiday candy? FAM THEY GOT YOU FUCKING COVERED.
Das doggo dry but he still DRIPPIN
So if you want to build up your dogs confidence and FFFFLLLLLLEEEEXXXXX all over the pooches at the dog park, bust out that checkbook and PROVE to the world that you actually love your pet.
They did it, the Bengals finally won a god damn game, meaning Jeff Lanham, the man who pledged to stay on the roof of his bar until they did just that, can finally come down.
I already blogged all about this, thinking the Bengals would kill him due to their horrific play, but it turns out the Jets are absolute fucking trash, and a big game from Cincys finest ensured he’ll be ripping farts in his own bed moving forward.
all in all Jeff spent 57 days living on his bars roof nearly 24/7, as he would only ever leave the roof briefly to shower/shit in his establishments second floor bathroom. He spent the other 23.5 hours a day in his underwear in a sleeping bag next to a heater watching Netflix.
Redemption for Jeff and all Bengals fans
the moral of this story? THE BENGALS ARE FUCKING BACK BABYYYYYYYY.
First off fuck you I know you don’t care about my fantasy team, but I get to write and you are going to read it!
Second this is a very relatable thing so you can double go fuck yourself!
Alright now we have established this blog let’s get into the anger I have with the fucking raiders!
I am in 3rd and playing the guy in 2nd, I’m on a 4 game win streak and was close to 5, but that ended due to sad pathetic performance by the raiders offense!
He had Chiefs D and was gonna rude them to victory until the raiders scored a TD with under 2 mins to make the score 38-9. The game is not in doubt, all the raiders have to do is kick an extra point and could even miss it and I’ll win by one point. What happens? The chiefs block the kick and take it back for a safety. I now lose by 3 points!
For the assholes who say this was fake!
Fuck you Jon Gruden! Go back to hooters and look at some girls cleavage!
The 2019 Iron bowl was arguably the game of the college football season, as Auburn took down Alabama in a 48-45 SEC shootout. However the game birthed a new elite SEC rivalry. Women/girls vs. Jordan-Harr bushes.
And of course the real stars of the game, these two.
I think this women is actually still lost in the bushes.
While you out back sneaking a little devil lettuce with the cousins, while Uncle Donnie is yelling about the libtards, and Aunt Mary yelling at Lil Jayne for the freshmen 15, you should put in bet. I have been looking at it and I just can’t seem to lose. I personally have put 5 of my units on this teaser parley expecting this will cover all my Xmas presents and then some. Let’s win some money folks…here is the 3 team 6 pt teaser ( If you don’t know what that means this blog prob ain’t for you)
Bears -.5
Bills +13
Saints -1
Money money money enjoy Turkey Day and get that money.
P.S. If I lose this I am gonna be the Anthony Anderson gif balled up on the sofa crying when dessert comes out.
While you out back sneaking a little devil lettuce with the cousins, while Uncle Donnie is yelling about the libtards, and Aunt Mary yelling at Lil Jayne for the freshmen 15, you should put in bet. I have been looking at it and I just can’t seem to lose. I personally have put 5 of my units on this teaser parley expecting this will cover all my Xmas presents and then some. Let’s win some money folks…here is the 3 team 6 pt teaser ( If you don’t know what that means this blog prob ain’t for you)
Bears -.5
Bills +13
Saints -1
Money money money enjoy Turkey Day and get that money.
P.S. If I lose this I am gonna be the Anthony Anderson gif balled up on the sofa crying when dessert comes out.
Happy Thanksgiving WCT, todays weekly segment of Jawn of the Week, L of the Week will be a tad different. We are keeping todays Holiday in mind.
“JAWNZ OF THE WEEK”
SHIT HAPPENS
The entire point of Thanksgiving is to eat as much as humanly possible with the family… hit a food coma… and then continue the night with apps while watching football. Unless you are a complete narc, you will be unloading several heavy bricks in this process. Therefore I present to you a toilet plunger… from fucking CHROME HEARTS! This bitch retails for around $1500 bills and will go perfect next to your piss stained toilet. I know many of you think of coked out LA rockstars who justified their Heidi fits by listening to Iron Maiden once, BUT no matter where you reside… a $1500 turd pusher is a NECESSARY FLEX.
YERRRRR
My second jawn of the week is a staple. THERE IS NOTHING THAT WIZ DOESN’T MAKE TASTE BETTER. Since Thanksgiving is a football holiday, apps are more important than any dry turkey on your spread. Therefore you need 5 jars of hot wiz on deck for the record breaking amount of motz sticks, pigs in a blanket, nachos, and pretzel bites that you will consume.
“Ls OF THE WEEK”
Blassic
For our first L of the week we are going with any tv smaller than 72 inches. You need to go big or go home, and anything less than 4K is for peasants. Surround sound is also encouraged but not required.
Yikes
Our final L of the week is low quality toilet paper. If you are doing Thanksgiving the proper way… then you are very likely to go to war with your toilet on multiple occasions. Therefore that paper thin toilet paper just about as reliable as Mitch Trubisky under center. IF YOU TRULY CARE ABOUT YOUR GUESTS THEN YOU NEED TO SURPRISE THEM WITH A FEW BOXES OF BABY WIPES. That type of compassion goes a long way when you are 100 pigs in a blanket deep by halftime.
Listen, we all know that turkey fucking sucks and that anyone who eats it on a regular day is a monster… The one execption to this rule is Thanksgiving. BUT if you are a real one you say FUCK Turkey and eat twice your body weight in sides. Keep in mind if you aren’t on the shitter begging for mercy after a Holiday like this, then your diet is simply idiotic.
THEREFORE I PRESENT TO YOU THE MT RUSHMORE OF THANKSGIVING SIDE DISHES.
1: Mac and Cheese. The cheesier the better, baked is a must, and sour cream is the secret
2: Stuffing. MAKE IT THICCCCCC >
3: Mashed Potatoes. None of that store bought shit, and multiple sticks of butter are needed
4: Cranberry Sauce. Canned is acceptable, lets be real the only need for this is to mask your relatives’ dog shit cooking
PS: fuck next day Thanksgiving sandwiches because A: turkey is hot trash and B: your fat ass must finish all of the sides by the late game kickoff
What’s up WCT? As your fav fashion writer, we are back up in this bitch with another NBA fit roast. Previously we bodied Kemba Walker with the worst combination of street and tailoring that I have ever seen… today we have Clippers forward Montrezl Harrell.
FAM, this fit is more difficult to understand than his fucking name… We have a grown ass man worth millions pulling up to his job in a fitted Rugrats Fit. We have the toys r us all over print hoodie most likely by Ronnie Fieg. And for those of you that are fans of Ronnie, your coffin is being dug as we speak… tune in after Thanksgiving for the burial.
In addition Montrezl stuck to his NBA roots with skin tight cargos… BUT FAM HAVE WEEN SEE DA SHOOOOE$$$. Bro came through with the custom Nike Monarchs in his Sasquatch size with the custom Chuckie Hair!!!!
Shout out to Commissioner David Stern for initiating the NBA dress code my G…
Signing out with this… FUCK ALL GROWN UP @Nickelodeon… we never needed to see our homies hit puberty.
WATER COOLER TALK 