Yesterday Fox Sports tried to troll my New England patriots claiming they’ve had a weak schedule mocking up this hypothetical schedule below

Fox please, BMS Goats would be the toughest matchup the Pats would see all year, heck they may have to build a remote field and play this after the Super Bowl, lets check the matchup

Coaching matchup: Marty Daniels vs Bill Bellicheck

A true chess game two of the greatest to ever do it, Marty Daniels the inventor of the oil change vs. Belicheck who the NFL constantly has to rewrite the rule book for. Two innovators in their craft. Hard to say who’s the better coach, however props to Daniels for landing Denise Richards while ditching the commitment, Bill had to slap a girlfriend label on Ms. Linda Holiday.

OCs Josh McDaniels vs. Marcus Gilday is an interesting battle, both offensively sharp minds yet both shit the bed when it comes to being a Head coach (McDaniels in Denver & Gilday in the natty ship)

Advantage: Draw

BMU offense vs NE Defense

The Pats D is no slouch this year but they’ll be playing real talent unlike golden boy Sam Darnold, the real question is how will they handle the two QB system of mobile QB Radon Randell (DREAMS) and pocket passer star Alex Moran (first Wyoming HS QB to throw 10,000 yards). Gilmore and McCourty shouldn’t have a problem with BMS’ no name receivers but these two QBs can get it done. Donnie Schrab will give these two QBs plenty of protection and time in the pocket. Craig Shilo is a shifty back who will battle the bogeymen.

Slight advantage: Pats Defense. They’re just too good.

BMU Defense vs. NE offense

GOAT vs. GOAT matchup with Brady squaring off against Castle. Brady hasn’t played a defensive stud this coked up ever as he avoided playing The U in his college days. Castle will give Brady fits in the backfield and should eliminate any run game. Pats WRs have been a little thin this year but Larry Summers will do anything for his defensive captain to get the job done.

Advantage: BMS

Special Teams:

Belicheck and Matt Slater are special teams legends but the Pats lack a kicking game as strong as Harmon Tedesco. Fresh off a vision quest, Tedesco is locked in.

Advantage BMS

Analysis: defensive battle but book makers lean BMS -2.5

Place your bets with Sammy cacciatore

The infamous Big Baller Brand is officially dead. When you log on to the Big Baller Brand website you are now redirected to Alan Foster official website promoting “Baller Finance” which looks like a finance company a create-a-player from the old x-box game “Ballers” choses to handle your cash flow, or a real life Trump University for aspiring basketball agents. BBB was the wildest phenomenon ever to hit basketball and streetwear culture. The company had so much overnight hype for selling $500 sneakers and $250 flip flops all based of hype Lonzo Ball generated from a quick stint at UCLA in the garbage pac 12 and Lamelo ballislife and house o highlights clips. Liangelo is the cooper manning of the ball family. Game is whack. Lavar was the hottest salesmen since Jordan Belfort opening Steve Madden IPO. Need tracking on where this BBB excess product will be landing. Marshalls/TJ Maxx? Ross stores? Burlington coat factory? Might be worth a but ust for the story. Sneaky never hated the ZO2.19s…also currently going for $2,500 on stockx LOL.

RIP the big baller brand, who did it for the fans (the BBB tie by Lavar is a must cop)

🚨 UPDATE 🚨

LAVAR SAYS HOLD THE DAMN PHONE

If the NBA needed anymore fireworks to highlight its opening night, MJ just light up a big one. Monday morning in an interview shown on The Today Show, Jordan said Steph Curry is not a hall of famer followed by a giant smirk. #THISLEAGUE. Obviously, NBA twitter went wild and Steph Curry stans went bizerk jumping to the former MVP’s defense. Still no Finals MVP doeeee. 

They also ROASTED his record as a GM 

 💀💀💀💀💀

  

Spin zone: Adam Silver needed a distraction from China so struck a deal with NBA’s greatest player ever to distract the league

Mere hours after a 33-0 ROUT of Sam Darnold and the NY Jets, Bellicheck was at it trading a 2nd round pick for Mohammed Sanu.

What appears to be a move to add depth to the WR core, could it be something more? Sanu was a triple option QB in HS before attending where else but Rutgers University aka PatsU

Schefter suggests Brady is out next year and leaving the team thin at QB…or is it? Yes Edelman is currently QB2 but Sanu could make the backup QB slot competitive. Not to mention, has a perfect QB rating.

Ps. Schefter is a weenie

“A Boston Democrat has proposed a state law that would penalize the use of the b-word when used to demean another person.

The bill, filed by state Rep. Dan Hunt in May, is slated to go before the Joint Committee on the Judiciary Tuesday afternoon.

The measure proposes adding two sentences to the section of state law that assigns fines and other penalties for various offenses, such as crimes for common night walkers, indecent exposure, and disturbers of the peace.

“A person who uses the word ‘bitch’ directed at another person to accost, annoy, degrade or demean the other person shall be considered to be a disorderly person in violation of this section,” the bill says.

Alleged violations can either be reported by the person the word was directed at or by witnesses, the proposal says.

According to the bill, penalties would be similar to those outlined in the other subsections of the state law, which, depending on the subsection, provide for a fine of not more than either $150 or $200, or jail time of up to six months”

-Christopher Gavin of Boston.com

 

Bitch what? Is this serious? 150 buck for calling someone a bitch? Potentially 2 years in prison if I do it twice? Yikes.

This guy, Dan Hunt from Dorchester is trying to pass this bill?

Mind blown by this bill. This is one of the softest moves by Massachusetts I’ve ever seen, SMH.  Cat fights outside of Lincoln and Stats going to cause basic girls to serve years behind bars. 

2019 continues to be the year of the ass. We got Flume (whoever that is) eating ass on burning man stage, giant floating ass on stage at the VMA awards, now we got Joe Burrow’s ass soon on stage in New York. It wasn’t Joe Burrow’s 4 tuddies that helped his Heisman resume, it was his own end zone stealing the spotlight. Louisiana newspaper The Advocate was not happy with their Heisman hopeful’s hienie being broadcasted continuously over CBS replays and are demanding an apology. 

 SMH at the advocate for this slander. No need for Burrow to be ashamed of this, those are some QB1 cheeks. Props to CBS for creating this Heisman moment in a classic SEC buttcheek beatdown. I’m sure Allie LaForce was a little hot and bothered reporting field side. 

Joe, strut that ass all the way to New York. 

Listen, I think Concepts is one of the best sneaker stores on god’s green earth, and I take hella pride in the fact that they are Boston based, HOWEVER who thought it was a good idea to make sneakers for snakes? Above is an image of the upcoming Concepts x Nike Kyrie 5 “orion’s belt,” a sneaker that snake fuck Kyrie Irving will be wearing in Brooklyn at some point this season.

If you didn’t know, the NBAs fakest smart person, Kyrie Irving, told the wonderful people of Boston that he would resign once his contract came to an end last season, only to slither his way into a deal with the Brooklyn Nets, linking up with fellow (former?) snake fuck Kevin Durant. “ssssssssssssssss, sssssssssss, ssssss” he stated in his introductory Brooklyn press conference, moments before his fragile fucking face was hit by a strong breeze, shattering his cheek bones.

Here’s the kicker though, despite finally showing his true colors as the snake fuck that he is, the kids LOVE this dude, leading to him having the top selling Nike signature sneaker for a few years running. Concepts, a store known for body-ing collabs/capitalizing on hype, saw an opportunity to get that cheddar. Inspired by Kyrie’s obsession with Ancient Egyptian culture and astrology (lol the kid did 1 year at Duke and thinks the earth is flat), the “Orion’s Belt” Kyrie 5 is perfect for any and all snakes. My lone question: why are the shoes sold in a pair? Last I checked Snakes only have 1 tail that could fit in the shoe, so why not just sell 1 shoe? Regardless if you want a pair they drop 10/26/19 at Concepts Boston and Concepts NYC. -Yunger

Tired of reading news from whack ass sites that pull punches to protect sponsors? Done with paying $2.99 a month for written content? Over the news being super fucking serious all the time? WELL WE ARE HERE TO HELP. This is Water Cooler Talk, a blog for those who like a giggle with their well informed opinion. Some would say it’s the perfect place to come just after you close that incognito tab, regretting the wormhole of filth you just went down, and read a nice article to take your mind off of the fact that the women you just watched is somebodies daughter. We have assembled a crack team of writers who will keep you up to date on everything that you need to know, from sports to music to food to expensive water to politics, we will have you covered. WELCOME TO WATER COOLER TALK. -Yunger