Happy Thanksgiving WCT, todays weekly segment of Jawn of the Week, L of the Week will be a tad different. We are keeping todays Holiday in mind.
“JAWNZ OF THE WEEK”
The entire point of Thanksgiving is to eat as much as humanly possible with the family… hit a food coma… and then continue the night with apps while watching football. Unless you are a complete narc, you will be unloading several heavy bricks in this process. Therefore I present to you a toilet plunger… from fucking CHROME HEARTS! This bitch retails for around $1500 bills and will go perfect next to your piss stained toilet. I know many of you think of coked out LA rockstars who justified their Heidi fits by listening to Iron Maiden once, BUT no matter where you reside… a $1500 turd pusher is a NECESSARY FLEX.
My second jawn of the week is a staple. THERE IS NOTHING THAT WIZ DOESN’T MAKE TASTE BETTER. Since Thanksgiving is a football holiday, apps are more important than any dry turkey on your spread. Therefore you need 5 jars of hot wiz on deck for the record breaking amount of motz sticks, pigs in a blanket, nachos, and pretzel bites that you will consume.
“Ls OF THE WEEK”
For our first L of the week we are going with any tv smaller than 72 inches. You need to go big or go home, and anything less than 4K is for peasants. Surround sound is also encouraged but not required.
Our final L of the week is low quality toilet paper. If you are doing Thanksgiving the proper way… then you are very likely to go to war with your toilet on multiple occasions. Therefore that paper thin toilet paper just about as reliable as Mitch Trubisky under center. IF YOU TRULY CARE ABOUT YOUR GUESTS THEN YOU NEED TO SURPRISE THEM WITH A FEW BOXES OF BABY WIPES. That type of compassion goes a long way when you are 100 pigs in a blanket deep by halftime.