NBA fit brick

DARIUS FUCKING BAZLEY… MY GUY… WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THIS?!?!?

Let me just say that I am a huge fan. Skipping college for a New Balance internship to help push the New Balance Basketball relaunch is a total BOSS move… BUT my guy who tf taught you how to dress?!

The only two things that I respect from this fit are the polo boxers because RALPH IS THE GAWD, and the white NBs because they threw you that bag.

The nylon trackpants are a huge brick and pulling up one pant leg did this no justice. The tactical vest also looks like shit over bare skin, and would also look like hell over an actual layer. Last but not least that vintage looking hat is totally out of left field. Stick to basketball my G; Salute NB hoops and stop taking style risks.

Performance Review:

Hoka One One OG Clifton 1 reissue

Any real runner knew of the hype. Maximal running before carbon fiber plates. Back when all of these kale eating potheads wrote bullshit books about the barefoot running movement improving ALL aspects of life.

The first shoe to grab the barefoot running movement by the balls and make actual noise was the Hoka One One Clifton. STUPID CUSHIONED, while weighing the same as a race day shoe.

Sadly for me, I did not originally run in the shoe, I didn’t hop on the train until the Clifton 2.

Anyone that has run in the shoe says that they were GODS gift to the earth. And thankfully, Hoka reissued these bitches this past year… BUT!!! They didn’t come with the second set of insoles.

I have logged around 300 miles in the shoes, and am now confident to give my accurate performance review. SPOILER ALERT, these didn’t age well.

Cushion: 10 out of 10, just as amazing as everyone said. The feeling of clouds on a racing style upper still is amazing today… though I still desire the additional insoles.

Traction: 6 out of 10, VERY little rubber on the shoe, in wet conditions you will end up on your ass. Durability has never been a Hoka strength.

Fit: ASSSSS CHEEKS 2 out of 10, no matter how hard I try, I just cannot seem to lock them down. The airy minimal upper feels amazing but provides little containment.

In my personal oppinion, the sensation of running on clouds in a featherlight package felt so unlike anything else on the road, that runners were quick to ignore the flaws of the sneaker. Sadly enough the Clifton line has gotten worse with each and every model after the original… too the point that you would question why it even exists anymore. In my opinion go with the Rincon as it has a wayyyyy better feel than the Clifton which continues to both gain weight and feel more dense on your foot.

D 3 hardooos

A tweet from a HS prep assistant coach triggered some former collegiate athletes into reminding the world that they play D3

Little motivation for his rich prep school student athletes no biggie ,

Not on any former D 3 athletes watch, just remember “they chose D3”

Alright Paige pump the brakes, you training for the D3 olympics?
My cousins brothers brother in law’s program coach coached with Ditka, he said my team was tuff, congrats on the 21 wins, you get a medal for your D3 trophy case?
Jeez thoughts and prayers to you playing softball at 5 am
Thank you for your service
Damn this kid must be getting the Congressional Medal of Freedom

Congrats everyone you graduated to Varsity Level 2 in softball at your local small college, have a beer it’s college, bet you dominated your HS alumni game tho

Vegas sets Astros O/U

First things first, baseball stinks and this Astros story is the best thing to happen to the sport since Sosa vs. McGuire steroid off in the late 90s. The sign steal scandal is up there for top sports scandals and has captivated the internet with theories, evidence, and memes. The Astros players are subject to chin music all season as punishment for their action. Vegas has added a prop of “Over/Under at amount of times the Astros will be hit by a pitch” at 83.5. Last year they were hit 62 or some odd times. Feel this will be an easy over as all these butt hurt pitchers will want their revenge. Pray for Aaron Judge who had to delete his 2017 tweet congratulating Altuve on MVP.

How Worried should Yung God be about Joe Burrow?

As the combine is coming up the number 1 pick seems all but a lock for the Bengals and that’s Joe Burrow. Since LSU has won the title, there has been rumblings that Burrow doesn’t want to play in Cincy.

Now, people of Cincy May think it doesn’t matter what Burrow thinks, draft him, but let’s not forget what this organization is all about. Remember Carson Palmer? He legit was gonna retire over playing for the Bengals again. Finally the bengals traded Palmer and played for many more years at high level. Why can’t Burrow just sit out too?

I’m not a financial expert but it does not seem like Joe Burrows family are in the poorhouse. When he signs his contract it changes his life obviously, but it is not a radical change, like a michael Vick when he was the number 1 pick. Joe can sit out and wait if he truly wants too.

Then the question is should the Bengals give in to his demands or try to wait him out?

I put on my Madden GM hat on here, but I think I would look and explore trading Joe. I could see the Panthers, Dolphins, and Chargers trying to move up in the draft.

The Panthers are starting a new regime. If Matt Rhule believes this his guy, they should go out and do what you can to get him. The Dolphins less likely cause they have been in on Tua for over a year now, but if they are skeptical of Tua injury they certainly have the draft capital to make it happen. Then the LA Chargers, I think could really happen. They need a QB with rivers gone, and they need some type of splash in LA, because they are close to being less relevant then USC women’s basketball, adding the number one pick with the swagger of Joe Burrow with those weapons with the Chargers would be pretty exciting.

All I want is what’s best for the NFL and Joe Burrow, and that is for Cincy not to ruin Joe Burrow! He is too good! Please trade the pick cincy, and sign a free agent QB instead.

Quinquennial Drip: the greatest New Balance shoe ever made

“Mortgage the house,” is what New Balance told the consumer when they dropped the NB 1300 in 1985 for $130 ($282 today with inflation). By marketing the shoe as a luxury item, calling it “the very best running shoe ever made,” the shoe became a cult hit in the land where flexing high end goods is practically a sport: JAPAN.

Constructed with premium mesh and nubuck upper, Encap technology, then topped off with a Vibram brand outsole for superior traction, Japanese consumers known for their love of good craftsmanship flocked to this model. This infatuation with the 1300 in the land of the rising sun eventually lead to a reissue of the model in 1995 for the first time, dubbed the 1300JP (which retailed for ¥39,000…about $350 USD at the time). This reissue was manufactured in the USA, but the craftsmanship on the pair was then vetted by New Balance Japan to ensure the absolute highest quality.

Since 1995 New Balance has stuck to a VERY strict quinquennial release pattern with the 1300JP, only dropping the shoe every 5 years to ensure the proper time is spent going over the meticulous details that make the shoe so sought after. Pairs from each release typically retail for around $300, but go quite fast and end up selling for thousands on the secondary market.

As you may already know (I sincerely hope you do) it is now the year 2020, meaning it is now time for another reissue of the model and I am happy to inform you The 2020 version of the New Balance 1300JP will release on Newbalance.com and at select New Balance stockists globally on Feb. 22 for a retail price of $300. They will once again be made at New Balance’s Skowhegan, Maine factory here in the USA, ensuring the same quality craftsmanship as the last 6 releases of the coveted sneaker.

the 2020 iteration

With all that said, the 1300JP is without a doubt the greatest New Balance sneaker ever made, and anyone telling you otherwise is just an idiot, cop up or it’ll be a looooooong five years.

COPPING NOW TO FLEX ON YOUR KIDS LATER

Supreme, the world famous New York based street wear brand, unveiled their Spring/Summer 2020 collection preview today, and hypebeasts everywhere are copping industrial sized bottles of hand lotion to privately celebrate these hhhhawwwwttt new jawnz.

However my vision for this preview, specifically 2 items in particular, is far more forward thinking than these jawn hungry beasts, as I do not plan on copping anything for myself this season, I’m copping with one person in mind: my future spawn. 🚨🚨🚨🚨NOTE: THIS IS NOT A PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT, I AM NOT EXPECTING A CHILD ANYTIME SOON, THIS IS RATHER A LONG TERM SCHEME I HAVE COME UP WITH TO MAKE YOUR FUTURE SEED FEEL LESS SUPERIOR TO MINE!🚨🚨🚨🚨That’s right folks, I’m thinking about how I’m going to flex on your broke boi lookin ass 10 years into the future, albeit subtly, using my future child as a pawn, BIG levels to this shit.

How am I going to do it?? By copping a fuck ton of these:

SUPREME x OREOS BABYYYYY, DOUBLE FUCKING STUFFED. But how is this a flex on your future spawn??? Let me break it down for you chief: it’s time for the classes mid afternoon snacks in elementary school, ur kid breaks out some goldfish or cheez nips (yeah that’s a shot), then looks up to see my spawn, Yung God JR, BUSTING OUT THESE FUCKING PREME OREOS, yeah that’s right not only is my kid eating cookies, THEM SHITS ARE LIMITED EDITION COLLAB COOKIES MOTHERFUCKER. Instantly das Yungest God would have infinite snack time clout, kids would offer to trade for them and I would tell him/her/whatever they identify as to only accept these other loser students entire weeks lunch money in return. BUT HOLD THE PHONE BECAUSE IMMA FUCKING DOUBLE DOWM ON THIS FLEX SHIT, YG 2.0 would bring said Oreos to school only in these:

2 BOX LOGOS AT SNACK TIME EVERY FUCKING DAY???!!! Sheeeeeesh, good luck trying to compete as a fellow parent, because quite frankly you won’t be able to. Parent teacher conferences might be a struggle for me because I’ll likely have to hear something like: “Your kid makes 3-7 other students cry every snack time because of how hard he is flexing out here, any chance you can tone down the drip?” To which I’ll reply “It’s drip or drown and Yungerer god can’t swim yet, so all he’s got is the drip, fuck outta my face with this broke talk.” But you know what? I’m willing to DIE FLEXING for my family, so the education system must adapt to that.

All i’m saying is prepare to buy lots of fortnite 2 battle passes for your kids in 2028 so you can make up for being a dead beat motherfucker in the snack time drip department. Good parents plan ahead and clearly I’m about here playing fucking chess while y’all play checkers.

Oh and one more thing, if you’re thinking “lol Oreos expire idiot” my response: “SHUT THE FUCK UP NERD.”

TBT- Old School Logos

Back in the day the look was to have a cartoon grouchy animal rocking your school hat, which school rocked it best?

5. RICE – That owl is giving a stink almost makes you think damn is my squad even worthy to play Rice?! Any time Rice can make you even consider that is a big W for the Owls

4 Texas – Bevo is getting after it, Uga is probably crawling into his doghouse after seeing this logo giving him PTSD, deduct points for lack of color and just rocking what looks like a Tennessee T but this is elite. Back when Texas sports meant something.

3. Cal (Bottom Left) – The Golden Bear is rocking a mean mug, he ain’t messing around yet still cute enough to be rocked on a little kids crew neck come game day. Big props to putting “Cal” and not a C, Cal knows their roll

2. UNC – The retro ram is legit, no one knows what a Tar Heel is but a ram just makes sense. Perfect color scheme and mean mug.

1. Miami – it’s criminal The U doesn’t use this everywhere. Sebastian the Ibis is one tough motherfucker. With a band-aid that would soon inspire the legendary rapper Nelly and a pipe that looks like a nuclear bomb is going off in it, this bad bird looks like it was shot straight out of the eye of the hurricane. The U will be back when this logo returns full time.

Honorable Mentions:

Easily NC state Wolfpack hard to keep them outta the top 5, also Oregon but Donald Duck is just too easy and cliche, Oregon just loves easy cake PAC 12 schedules shows in their mascot choice forever

What were you thinking?!

LSU and Auburn with the same exact tiger? Come on now figure it out, respect tho for neither backing down

Bama- Saban would never allow such a soft happy go luck one star elephant recruit to wear the crimson

VPI- just pick a different animal