CONCEPTS AND NIKE MADE SNEAKERS FOR SNAKES

Listen, I think Concepts is one of the best sneaker stores on god’s green earth, and I take hella pride in the fact that they are Boston based, HOWEVER who thought it was a good idea to make sneakers for snakes? Above is an image of the upcoming Concepts x Nike Kyrie 5 “orion’s belt,” a sneaker that snake fuck Kyrie Irving will be wearing in Brooklyn at some point this season.

If you didn’t know, the NBAs fakest smart person, Kyrie Irving, told the wonderful people of Boston that he would resign once his contract came to an end last season, only to slither his way into a deal with the Brooklyn Nets, linking up with fellow (former?) snake fuck Kevin Durant. “ssssssssssssssss, sssssssssss, ssssss” he stated in his introductory Brooklyn press conference, moments before his fragile fucking face was hit by a strong breeze, shattering his cheek bones.

Here’s the kicker though, despite finally showing his true colors as the snake fuck that he is, the kids LOVE this dude, leading to him having the top selling Nike signature sneaker for a few years running. Concepts, a store known for body-ing collabs/capitalizing on hype, saw an opportunity to get that cheddar. Inspired by Kyrie’s obsession with Ancient Egyptian culture and astrology (lol the kid did 1 year at Duke and thinks the earth is flat), the “Orion’s Belt” Kyrie 5 is perfect for any and all snakes. My lone question: why are the shoes sold in a pair? Last I checked Snakes only have 1 tail that could fit in the shoe, so why not just sell 1 shoe? Regardless if you want a pair they drop 10/26/19 at Concepts Boston and Concepts NYC. -Yunger

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