To our 5 British, 1 Canadian and 1 South African readers: FYI we have a presidential election here in the USA this year, and it’s going to be a fucking ZOOVIE. Whichever democratic candidate survives the 2020 democratic royal rumble will go on to face our current president Donald Trump, who is up for re-election this year, for the prestigious C+C gig. Years like this lead to much debate among us Americans about who we like for the job, often creating a bit of a divide amongst the masses. However I think there is a pretty clear path, mostly unrelated to politics, that is the best method for choosing which candidate is the best choice for you: WHOSE GOING TO HAVE YOU DRIPPIN THE HARDEST???
You see on top of taking donations, every candidate up for election also has their own online store to help boost campaign funds. Today we will take a look at the best apparel options available for the top candidates running for president, and determine if they are worth rocking with.
- Pete Buttigieg
This Democratic candidates best piece is the above faux shirt and tie t shirt pictured above, which doesn’t really get me going tbh. Shit looks like what a High school robotics club captain would wear to prom to be “funny,” and it still sucks even in that scenario. Pete’s logo ain’t really hittin, and neither is his merch, what makes you think this swagless motherfucker will improve our nation in any way if he can’t even drop a good tee? NEXT
2. Elizabeth Warren
Claiming you are .0006 native American for clout? BAD MOVE. Using your dog to move merch and connect with Americans on a more personal level? UHHHH GENIUS. For a campaign riddled with terrible fucking choices, big Lizzo nailed this design, I mean who doesn’t love cute animals?! Hiding all of your mistakes behind a cute fucking dog is perfect practice for when you have to hide all of your shady government dealings behind the cute face of freedom. I would rock the fuck out of this shirt, likely getting nothing but positive comments on it, because Warren knew nobody could hate a dog, even if they can be a bitch sometimes. COP THE FUCK UP.
3. Tom Steyer
Artist collab? CHECK. Funky design related to saving the planet? CHECK. A t shirt that really lets the people know who you are rocking with? NAH FAM HOW THE FUCK IS THIS A CAMPAIGN SHIRT?? I mean this shit looks like an urban outfitters best seller, the design is 100% there, but how is anyone supposed to know this is a Steyer jawn? They won’t, and unfortunately Tom Steyer won’t stop looking straight into the god damn camera during the debates long enough to do something about it. NEXT
4. Bernie Sanders
This an official collab with world famous rock band The Strokes, who recently played a Bernie rally in NH. I mean god damn, shit does not get any more FIYA than this. This is “drip 2 hard you gonna fuck around and drown” type shit. A STROKES COLLAB IN YOUR CAMPAIGN STORE?! Bernie you fucking scoundrel, not only are you going to #legalizeit day one in the office, you got a Julian Casablanca co sign?? Shit ain’t even fair to the other candidates, BERNIE FOR PRESIDENT is officially the wagon im hitching my RDR2 horse, Kanye East, to. COP COP COP COP COP COP COP.
5. Amy Klobuchar
Honestly I don’t even understand what I’m looking at here, this some boomer type drip and im not here for that. But when I say this design was better than the rest of her “swag” I genuinely mean it. BASURA all around, can’t have this lady dropping garage like this from the Oval Office. YEET.
6. Donald Trump
Our current reigning, defending, President of the United States sure knows his audience, which I will refer to as the #MAGAMAFIA. These people, a collection of Trump supporters who fucking hate liberals and political correctness, just want to Make America Great Again. How do they go about doing this? By copping sweet fucking tees like the one above so that when they are done cyber bullying the libs online, they can take to the streets and show those snowflake yuppies whose boss. Love him or hate him, Donald Trump has a strong fucking brand and an even stronger twitter presence, people will cop the fuck outta that tee because to them it’s off white nike levels of drip. Hey at least we know where he stands right? COP.
Get out there and blow a hard earned bag of dead presidents on some political drip ASAP while its trending up, because come 2021 it’ll all be over for another 4 years.